So, you're thinking about a bespoke engagement ring. How exciting! Whether you already have a specific stone in mind or you're starting completely from scratch and haven't the faintest idea where to begin, don't worry, you're in exactly the right place.
Choosing the gemstone for your engagement ring is honestly one of the most personal and fun parts of the whole commissioning process. It's also one of the decisions that really matters in a practical sense, because an engagement ring is something you'll, or your intended, will wear every single day for the rest of their life. That means we need to think not just about what's beautiful (though obviously that's a big part of it), but also about what will stand the test of time on your hand.
This is something I love talking through with every single client during our bespoke commissioning journey. If you haven't already had a peek at the bespoke process page as it walks you through the whole timeline. From that very first spark of an idea all the way to us boxing up your finished piece in our little studio in North Devon. Choosing your gemstone usually comes up during our initial chat together, and it's one of my favourite conversations to have. No idea too wild, no question too basic!
But first, let's talk about something that often gets overlooked when people start gemstone shopping: hardness.
Why Hardness Matters More Than You Might Think
When we talk about how hard a gemstone is, we're referring to the Mohs scale, a rating system that runs from 1, which is very soft, like talc - to 10, diamond, the hardest natural material on earth. The higher the number, the more resistant the stone is to being scratched by everyday objects.
Here's the thing: your engagement ring will encounter a lot of life, think about all the things you do with your hands like work, gardening, cooking, gym sessions, house work, dog walks, general chores, all of these things can take their toll on a stone that isn't quite up to the job. A softer gemstone on a ring you wear daily can become scratched, dull or damaged over time, which nobody wants.
That said, and this is really important, a lower Mohs rating doesn't automatically mean a stone is off the table. It just means we design around it, choose the right setting, and make sure you know how to care for it. Some of the most popular engagement rings I've made have featured stones that aren't the hardest stones available, and they're absolutely perfect for the recipient. It's all about being informed and making the right choice for your lifestyle and design ideas.
Let's look at the most popular gemstone options and be honest about the pros and cons of each.
Diamond - Mohs 10
The classic choice, and there's a very good reason it's been the go-to for engagement rings for generations.
The pros: Diamonds are the hardest natural material on earth, which makes them incredibly well suited to everyday wear. They're a timeless choice and of course - brilliantly sparkly, literally, the way a diamond refracts light is unmatched!
The cons: They can be expensive, although lab-grown diamonds are now a genuinely beautiful and more affordable alternative. And honestly, if you're someone who feels like a diamond is a bit "expected" and you'd love something a little more individual, there are so many other gorgeous options out there.
My take: If you want something that will truly last a lifetime with minimal fuss, a diamond, whether mined or lab-grown, is hard to beat. But don't feel pressured into it. There's a whole world of gemstones out there!
Sapphire - Mohs 9
A firm favourite of mine, and increasingly popular as an engagement stone. You can thank Princess Diana and Princess Kate for bringing the blue sapphire back into the spotlight. But did you know sapphires come in almost every colour of the rainbow? Pink, peach, yellow, teal, green, there's something for everyone.
The pros: With a Mohs rating of 9, sapphires are extremely durable and absolutely suitable for everyday wear. They have a gorgeous depth of colour, they're slightly more affordable than diamonds of a comparable size, and they offer so much variety. A sapphire ring feels romantic and distinctive without straying too far from the traditional.
The cons: Very little, honestly. The only downside is that some lower-quality sapphires can look a bit dull or inky in poor lighting, so it's worth choosing your stone carefully. I always source mine from trusted suppliers and will talk you through the quality of any stone I recommend, being transparent about my thoughts on each one.
My take: Sapphires are one of my top recommendations for engagement rings. Beautiful, practical, and full of personality.
Ruby - Mohs 9
Rubies sit alongside sapphires on the Mohs scale; they are actually both varieties of the mineral corundum, which makes them equally brilliant for everyday wear. There's something so passionate and vivid about a ruby, they feel bold and romantic.
The pros: Incredibly hard-wearing and durable. The rich red colour is striking and meaningful, rubies have been associated with love and passion for centuries. Like sapphires, they're also available in a range of shades, from soft pinkish-red to deep crimson.
The cons: High-quality rubies can be quite expensive, sometimes even more so than diamonds. They can also be treated to enhance their colour, so it's worth knowing the origin of your stone. Again, this is something I'll always be upfront about.
My take: If you love colour and want something with real drama and meaning, a ruby is a magnificent choice.
Emerald - Mohs 7.5–8
Emeralds are absolutely gorgeous, that rich, lush green is like nothing else. They've been treasured for thousands of years, first used in jewellery during ancient Egyptian times. Emeralds have a distinctly regal, vintage feel. However, they do require a little more thought when it comes to engagement ring wear.
The pros: Strikingly beautiful and unique. Emeralds have incredible depth and character, no two are exactly alike. They suit vintage and nature-inspired settings especially well, and they're a wonderfully personal choice.
The cons: Emeralds are naturally quite included meaning they have natural internal characteristics, which makes them more prone to chipping than sapphires or rubies. Their Mohs rating of 7.5–8 is still respectable, but the inclusions mean they need a bit more care. They're best set in a protective bezel or rub-over setting rather than a delicate claw setting that leaves more of the stone exposed.
My take: An emerald engagement ring is absolutely achievable and incredibly beautiful, we just need to design the setting with care and protection in mind. I'd also suggest avoiding ultrasonic cleaners and being mindful of knocks. With a bit of love, an emerald ring can be truly spectacular.
Aquamarine - Mohs 7.5–8
The colour of Aquamarines ranges from a serene and dreamy pale blue colour, to watery sea green, like gazing into clear tropical waters. They're part of the beryl family, making them a cousin of the emerald.
The pros: Beautiful, calm colour that suits fair and dark skin tones equally. Generally more affordable than sapphires of a similar size. A hardness of 7.5–8 makes them reasonably durable for daily wear, and they tend to be cleaner and less included than emeralds, which helps with their durability.
The cons: Their lighter colour means they don't have quite the visual drama of a sapphire or ruby. They can also be scratched by harder materials over time, so regular maintenance and a good protective setting is recommended.
My take: If you're drawn to soft, serene blues and want something a little more understated and unique, aquamarine is a gorgeous option.
Morganite - Mohs 7.5–8
Morganite has had a real moment over the past decade or so, and it's easy to see why. That peachy-pink blush colour is incredibly flattering and romantic, especially set in rose gold.
The pros: Romantic in colour, very on-trend, though I'd argue it's becoming something of a classic, and generally more affordable than sapphires or rubies. Like aquamarine, it's a member of the beryl family and sits at 7.5–8 on the Mohs scale.
The cons: The same caveats as aquamarine apply, it's not quite as hard as the corundum family, and the pale colour means it can show scratching more easily over time. Regular cleaning and care will keep it looking its best.
My take: Morganite is a beautiful, romantic choice and absolutely wearable as an engagement stone. We'd just design the setting with longevity in mind.
Opal - Mohs 5.5–6.5
Now, opals are where we have to have a really honest conversation, because I adore them. They're genuinely magical, with that extraordinary play of colour, but they are not naturally suited to daily engagement ring wear.
The pros: Quite simply, there is nothing in the gemstone world that looks like an opal. The way they shimmer and shift colour in the light is extraordinary and deeply personal, no two opals are the same.
The cons: With a Mohs rating of just 5.5–6.5, opals are relatively soft and can scratch, crack or craze (develop tiny surface cracks) when exposed to temperature changes, chemicals, or impact. Everyday ring wear is genuinely quite hard on them.
My take: If your heart is set on an opal, I'd gently suggest considering it as a pendant, earrings, or a dress ring for special occasions rather than a daily engagement ring. That said , if you really want it and you're prepared to care for it and accept that it may need some TLC over the years, I'm not going to say a flat no. We'd just need to talk through the implications honestly together.
Pearls - Mohs 2.5–4.5
A pearl engagement ring is a gloriously romantic and unconventional choice, delicate, feminine, and wonderfully individual. But pearls are organic gems, formed inside molluscs rather than mined from the earth, and their hardness reflects that.
The pros: Soft, lustrous and deeply romantic. A pearl engagement ring is genuinely rare and special, and will turn heads for all the right reasons.
The cons: Pearls are fragile by gemstone standards. They scratch easily, are damaged by chemicals (including perfume and hand cream), and are not really suited to the daily wear demands of an engagement ring. They need to be the last thing you put on and the first thing you take off.
My take: Again, I'm not saying never. But I'd want to have a very open conversation about lifestyle and expectations before setting a pearl into a ring you'll wear every day. As part of a more occasional-wear piece, they are absolutely magical.
Here's the truth: most people who come to us for a bespoke engagement ring don't arrive with a fully formed gemstone specification. They arrive with a feeling, maybe a colour they love, a vague sense of "something a bit different," or just a very open mind.
And I genuinely love that. Part of what I'm here for is to help you figure it out. There are a huge array of gemstones to consider aside from the ones we have talked about above, for example - Tourmalines, Spinels and Chrysoberyl.
During our chat together, we'll look at images, talk about your style and lifestyle, and I'll share my honest thoughts on what I think would suit you and last the distance. If you're worried about your budget, I'll always work with you to find the best stone for your money. And if you have an old piece of jewellery with a stone you'd love to repurpose, a grandmother's sapphire, for example, we can absolutely explore that too.
There is no wrong answer here. There is only the stone that's right for you and your intended, the ring they’ll wear every day, and the story behind it.
If you're ready to start that conversation, I'd love to hear from you. Head over to our bespoke jewellery contact form and drop us a message, tell us as much or as little as you know at this stage, and we'll go from there together.
I'm a friendly soul and I love to chat. Let's make something wonderful.
Amy x